Sometimes I want to share a side of me I’m literally unconscious to — in hopes that writing it out might help me make sense of what God is trying to communicate.
Dreams are funny like that. They pull out pieces of us we didn’t even know were still there.
For a long time, I used to smoke just so I wouldn’t dream. I didn’t want to see or remember. But Jesus has called me into sobriety, and part of that gift is feeling again — and seeing again, even in my sleep.
The Dream
I was at this huge gathering — something like a Miami-style party inside a big hall. It had that electric energy where you can feel the bass before it even drops.
I was in charge of the music, scrolling through my phone trying to pick the perfect song to start the night off. The one I had in mind?
“Shake that ass, bitch, and let me see what you got.” 😅
Yeah… that one. I knew it would make the crowd go wild. I could practically see everyone jumping up, ready to dance.
But when I pressed play, something changed. The song came out completely different — same energy, but no filth. It was clean. Joyful. Beautiful even. And somehow, everyone still loved it.
Then out of nowhere, Wendy Osefo from Real Housewives of Potomac shows up, offering to “help” me — but in that condescending, I-know-better-than-you tone.
I told her, “This is Miami. I know what to play.” And I meant it.
But as I tried to find the song again, the screen started to blur. The letters looked fuzzy, like I needed glasses but didn’t have any. My eyes started burning and tearing up. I kept rubbing them, straining to see — and then I woke up.
The Meaning
This dream felt like a tug-of-war between who I was and who I’m becoming.
The party reminded me of my past — loud, wild, and full of “fun” that left me empty the next morning.
The song represented that old part of me that used to perform for attention and acceptance. But when I played it, God changed the tune. He took what once glorified the flesh and made it something pure.
That’s redemption. That’s God flipping the script. 🙌
Wendy showing up? That was the voice of criticism and doubt — the kind that makes you second-guess yourself or feel like you’re not qualified enough.
But my response — “I know what to play” — was a reminder that I know the territory God pulled me from. I know how to reach the people still living there, because I used to be one of them.
And those blurry letters? That hit deep.
It’s like God was saying, “You’re trying to read the old script, but your eyes don’t work that way anymore.”
You’ve outgrown the lenses that used to make sense of your past. He’s giving you new sight — spiritual sight. And maybe those tears in the dream were part of that cleansing.
The Spiritual Layer
“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light.” — Matthew 6:22
God’s been doing eye surgery on my soul.
I used to see through smoke and darkness, but now He’s teaching me how to see through light.
I don’t have to perform anymore. I don’t have to play music that stirs up chaos just to feel alive.
I just have to play what He gives me — and trust that His sound will reach the ones it’s meant to.
💭 Dream Reflection Challenge
Take a moment this week to sit quietly and ask yourself:
🎶 What kind of “music” am I playing with my life right now?
👁️ Is my focus on entertaining the crowd — or honoring the One who changed my tune?
🕊️ Where might God be adjusting my vision so I can see more clearly through His eyes?
Sometimes clarity comes with tears.
And sometimes, the only way to truly see…
is to let Him rewrite the song. 🎵
In peace and with Aloha,
💖 Your Sista Ritza
Redemption & Recovery 