Redemption & Recovery

Category: abuse

  • From Nightmare to Victory: How Jesus Showed Up in My Dream

    From Nightmare to Victory: How Jesus Showed Up in My Dream

    ✝️ From Nightmare to Victory: How Jesus Showed Up in My Dream

    Before I jump into the dream, let me be real with you.
    For years, I used to smoke marijuana just so I wouldn’t dream. 🌫️
    I didn’t want to remember anything when I slept—no pain, no memories, no attacks, nothing. Dreams scared me because they felt too real… too spiritual.

    But when Jesus called me to sobriety, He didn’t just take away the weed—He restored my mind. 🌱✨
    Now, I dream again. I remember again.
    And instead of running from what I see, I’ve learned to pray through it.

    Normally, I would’ve written this dream off as just another weird nightmare. But this time, I knew better. This time, I knew God was showing me something worth sharing.

    😨 The Chase

    In my dream, I was trapped in a house being chased by something dark—part monster, part demon, part vampire. It was pure evil. 👿
    My mom was there, calm, untouched, but she walked away. I ran through room after room, desperate for safety. Each room felt like another part of my life—places where fear still lived rent-free.

    Then I saw my little cousins playing. Their eyes widened with fear, and without saying a word, they closed the door to protect themselves. That moment hit me—sometimes, innocence just hides when fear walks in. 🚪💔

    🙏 The Confrontation

    I dove under a bed, trying to disappear, but the monster found me. It grabbed my leg and started dragging me out.
    I could feel its evil closing in.

    That’s when something in me snapped—in the best way.
    I screamed, “JESUS! HELP ME!” 🙌
    Over and over again.
    I prayed, I cried out, I declared His name like my life depended on it. Because it did.

    And then—everything changed.
    The air shifted. 🌬️
    Darkness trembled. 😈
    Fear lost its grip. 💪

    ✝️🔥 The Cross and the Fire

    I ran outside and suddenly a man appeared—an actor from the old TV show Hercules. (Yes, God used that guy in my dream! 😂)
    He said, “I can help you form a cross.” He stood behind me, arms stretched horizontally, while I lifted mine vertically. Together, we formed the shape of the cross—and we prayed like warriors. 🕊️

    The demon shrieked and burst into flames. It burned until nothing but ash remained. 🌋
    A nearby tree fell, revealing huge Easter-egg-sized shells beneath it. One was cracked open and empty. The others were still sealed. 🥚🌳
    I didn’t fully get it then, but I knew—the monster was gone.

    💡 The Meaning

    When I woke up, I realized this wasn’t a nightmare; it was a spiritual victory. 🏆
    The house was my heart.
    The demon was fear and generational bondage.
    The calmness of my mom symbolized what some before me accepted as normal.
    And the cousins? They were the innocent ones—protecting themselves, but powerless to fight.

    Yet when I called on Jesus, the darkness had no choice but to bow. 🙏
    The cross became my weapon, and the fire—God’s power—consumed what once tried to destroy me.
    The small lizard left behind? That’s what the enemy looked like defeated—tiny, weak, broken. 🦎💀
    And those eggs? Hidden things brought into the light. Empty now. Powerless. ✨

    🕊️ The Victory

    This dream wasn’t random—it was revelation.
    God was showing me that He’s breaking off generational chains and silencing the voices that once chased me.
    He reminded me that when I speak His name, the enemy loses ground. Every. Single. Time. ⚡

    “The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.” — Proverbs 18:10

    🌿 Celebrate Recovery Reflection

    When I shared this dream with my Celebrate Recovery family, I couldn’t help but see the connection between this dream and the first three steps of the CR journey. It was like God showed me my healing process in motion—just through a dream. 🌙

    Step 1 — Powerless:
    🏃‍♀️ When I was running through the house, hiding under the bed, I was living out Step 1: realizing I am not God and that I can’t control everything. Fear had me on the run, and I was exhausted. I was powerless.

    Step 2 — Hope:
    ✨ But when I called on Jesus, something shifted. That’s Step 2—believing that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity. That’s when faith entered the room.

    Step 3 — Surrender:
    🙌 And when I stood in the shape of the cross, that was Step 3—making a decision to turn my life and my will over to the care of God. I wasn’t just saying His name anymore; I was standing in His authority.

    That’s what recovery looks like. You stop running, you believe He can, and then—you let Him. ❤️

    “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” — James 4:7

    💪 Your Turn to Stand

    If something’s been chasing you—fear, addiction, shame, control—you don’t have to hide anymore.
    Call on Jesus. 📣
    Speak His name. 🕊️
    Form your cross. ✝️
    Stand your ground. 🧍‍♀️🔥

    Because when you call on Jesus, hell shakes.
    And when you stand in His power, darkness burns. 💥

    Closer to the Kingdom Reflection

    • What “monsters” have been chasing you lately? 😈
    • Have you been hiding instead of fighting in the Spirit? 🕊️
    • How can you let the cross cover those dark corners today? ✝️

    ❤️ Signed with Love,

    ✝️ Your Sista Ritza
    Real. Redeemed. Still standing. 💃

    📢 Share Prompt

    🕊️ If this post spoke to you, share it with someone who’s fighting their own battle tonight. Remind them—Jesus still wins. 💪🔥

  • Denial

    Denial

    Hello my beautiful peoples!!

    I am a disciple of Christ Jesus, I struggle with co-dependency, pride, bad money habits and anger. My name is Maritza. I thought I’d make my next post about: my experience with of The Journey Begins step study.

    Lesson 1: Denial was by far the most difficult and eye opening lessons for me. It is rooted in Principle 1 and Step 1 of Celebrate Recovery:

    Principle 1: Realize I’m not God. I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable. (Matthew 5:3)

    Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable. (Romans 7:18)

    I struggled with denial because I was prideful and resistant to admitting that something was wrong with me. Growing up, I suppressed a lot of my hurts because I wasn’t allowed to talk about my pain. I bottled up my emotions so much that I began cutting myself as a coping mechanism. I thought if I focused on my physical wounds, I could forget about the emotional ones.

    I was a cutter from the age of 13 to 27. Looking back, I can see how deep my denial ran. I convinced myself I was fine, but Jeremiah 6:14 tells us:

    “You can’t heal a wound by saying it’s not there!”

    The walls I built between those years were meant to protect me, but they actually trapped me. By refusing to acknowledge my hurts, I wasn’t able to heal from my trauma. When I started Lesson 1, I was asked a question that rocked my world:

    What areas of your life are out of control?

    When I put my thoughts to ink, I had to admit:

    • My finances were a mess.
    • My relationships with men were unhealthy and toxic.
    • My anger and rage made me reactive and inconsistent with my behavior.

    Then came another tough question:

    What coping skills did you use to get attention or protect yourself?

    That one stung deeply. I was over 40 when I began to reflect on things I thought were just part of my character. Realizing these were coping mechanisms rather than personality traits shook me to my core.

    Going through the nine questions in Lesson 1 forced me to look at myself differently. The questions were intrusive but not condemning—if that makes sense. I felt anxious about being truthful, but I knew I needed to trust the process. Lesson 1 taught me that denial had to be broken in order for healing to begin.

    Some of the coping skills I used included:

    • Hardening myself – acting as if I wasn’t hurt or didn’t care.
    • Playing the victim – seeking attention and sympathy.
    • Being the peacemaker – people-pleasing my way into someone’s good graces.
    • Silence and isolation – freezing people out instead of confronting issues.
    • Sarcasm – using humor to be passive-aggressive.
    • Self-destruction and self-sabotage – believing I wasn’t good enough, echoing past childhood trauma.

    Working through these questions helped me unpack experiences, thought processes, and hurts I didn’t even know were still there. Facing Lesson 1: Denial helped me realize:

    ✨ I do need help. ✨

    I share this because I know I’m not alone. Maybe you’re struggling with denial too. Maybe you’ve convinced yourself that everything is fine, that you’re in control, that your past isn’t affecting you. I want you to know—healing begins when we face the truth.

    If you’re on this journey, trust the process. God is with you every step of the way. You are not alone. ❤️

    John 8:32 – “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

    Now, I’d love to hear from you!

    Have you ever struggled with denial in your life?

    What coping mechanisms have you used that you later realized weren’t healthy?

    How did you come to the realization that you needed help?

    ✨ Let’s break the chains of denial together! Drop a comment below and share your thoughts. ✨

    ✨ Tune in next time to dive deeper into my recovery journey. ✨

    With love and grace,
    Your Sista Ritza ✨

    P.S. Thank you in advance for liking and sharing this blog post! The more people that read this, the more we can help. My intention is to help others through sharing my experiences. ❤️

  • How I Got Started with Celebrate Recovery

    How I Got Started with Celebrate Recovery

    Hello my beautiful peoples! ✨

    In February 2022, my toxic and abusive ten-year relationship with He Who Shall Not Be Named finally ended. I left our shared apartment and moved into my sister’s house after a physical altercation. In this case, I was the aggressor. Towards the end of our relationship, I had no respect for him and just wanted him out of my apartment and life. He moved in with me because he had been living on his uncle’s bedroom floor and begged me for help.

    Two years before that, we had been engaged to be married, but five days before our wedding, he decided to text all his exes, telling them that he was soon to be married and would officially be off the market. One particular ex was invited for wine. As if that wasn’t enough, he also tried to start a business with her. That’s when I lost it—I trashed our Miami loft and was physically escorted out by Miami police. Letting him back into my life and helping him was the biggest mistake of my life. But when you’re codependent and don’t know you’re codependent, you make dumb decisions that serve others instead of looking out for yourself.

    When I moved in with my sister, I knew I needed to make serious changes. Ten years of on-and-off with this man wasn’t getting me anywhere. The longer I was with him, the further he took me from God. He believed in spirituality, God, and Buddhist principles, but he didn’t walk the talk. His beliefs were all about his desires, money, and ego, with spirituality sprinkled in at his convenience. I think at some point, that way of thinking rubbed off on me, and I lost my way.

    Living at my sister’s gave me the opportunity to be less than ten minutes away from a church with four services. There was no excuse not to go. So, I invited my sister to join me at my first service. It had been a while since I had gone to a big church. I wasn’t much for worship; in fact, many times, I’d be the one coming in a bit late—just in time for the pastor’s message.

    During one particular message, the pastor talked about how coming on the weekends was just part of the big picture. He urged us to get out of the outskirts and stop being spectators, emphasizing that small groups are what truly connect us to the congregation. His words convicted my heart, and I felt nudged by God to sign up for a group.

    As I looked through the groups, there was only one that aligned with my interests and schedule—The Journey Begins. It was a twelve-step study group meant to address hurts, hang-ups, and habits. At first, I didn’t want to choose that group because I didn’t think I needed it. I’m not a drug addict or alcoholic, I thought. My sister was in recovery and attended AA, so I had a preconceived notion about what a recovery program looked like. I wrestled with myself about signing up for the study, but ultimately, I decided to be obedient. (Celebrate Recovery Principle 3: Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control. – Matthew 5:5)

    Normally, most people attend Celebrate Recovery before signing up for a step study, but as in the true Maritza way, I did it backward. It wasn’t until I attended my study group that someone invited me to come and attend Celebrate Recovery. The first thing that came to my mind was, UGH—two days? Both two hours long? 🙄Here I was signing up for one day, and now God was turning it into two days and four hours a week. Definitely not what I signed up for! But I had committed to being obedient to God. (“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” – Proverbs 3:5)

    I remember feeling awkward walking into Celebrate Recovery. Walking in was like admitting I had a problem to a bunch of strangers. Thankfully, they had greeters at the doors who helped me find my way. Newcomers 101 gave me an overall understanding of how Celebrate Recovery worked. They explained that the first hour consists of worship followed by either a lesson or a testimony. The second hour consists of small groups where men and women separate and then break off into smaller groups—A-Z for hurts, hang-ups, and habits, or chemical dependency groups.

    I chose the A-Z group, where I met women who dealt with childhood trauma, codependency, anger issues, trust issues, and much more. Three years later, I love my Celebrate Recovery family. I used to feel like an outsider at church, the black sheep filled with issues, until I found the rest of the black sheep at Celebrate Recovery. I loved being in a place where people were okay admitting they needed help and actually wanted help.

    I love the sisterhood that grew over time by being vulnerable and honest about the decisions I’ve made in my life. I felt safe, seen, and heard. People didn’t judge me for my past but encouraged my growth. Celebrate Recovery changed my life for the better. (“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” – 2 Corinthians 5:17)

    Celebrate Recovery is more than just about chemical dependency. It helps with fear, guilt, shame, unforgiveness, pride, anger, rage, sex addiction, abuse, people-pleasing, control, abandonment—just to name a few. It provides tools to process your hurts that have turned into hang-ups and gives you healthy, God-loving habits to deal with this crazy world and everything that comes with it. (Celebrate Recovery Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors and that our lives had become unmanageable. – Romans 7:18)

    ✨ Tune in next time to learn what I learned from Lesson 1: Denial. ✨

    With love and grace,
    Your Sista Ritza ✨

    🙏 Thank you in advance for liking and sharing this blog post. The more people that get to read, the more people we can help. My intention is to help others through sharing my experiences. 🙌